the train /
my body is misbehaving

Nina Patafi

Working on my piece, at first, felt very indulgent and self-serving, and I was anxious about putting a spotlight on myself. Now, having gone through the process of creation, I feel my art piece is all the more effective at connecting with others for being a personal experience. By depicting my experience as it happened, I hope others find comfort in recognition of similar symptoms and feelings, and that there is more sympathy and understanding for people who have ‘attacks’ in public. I was so ashamed about “looking crazy” to others after I had my attack, and this is my answer to those past feelings.

I also have a different mindset around ‘self indulgence’ thanks to this residency. Putting yourself and your experiences out there and asking for help and connection with others is the best self indulgence, or self love, I’ve ever engaged in. I encourage others to be self-indulgent, with their art and otherwise!

Getting to work alongside and talk with my super talented peers as well as receive advice and mentorship from other artists was an amazing and healing experience and I would recommend the Hear/d residency to any artist, and anyone struggling with mental health. I applied for the residency at the last minute, hearing about the deadline extension, and I’m so glad I did. COVID-19 has hit countries worldwide with devastating effects, and as I write this we are almost a month into the declared public health emergency in Alberta. I’d like to thank the mentors, the school, my instructors, and my peers for their solidarity, assistance, and resilience during this time. Having this support system has made a world of difference.